Meeting with Jeff today to discuss the thesis, now that he and Peter have read at least part of the thesis.
The research is prodigious. I don't imagine there is a relevant document that hawkeye7 has not uncovered and used in the thesis. The writing is very clear and concise and the subject actually comes across as extremely and genuinely interesting...
The real problem, however, and a major one is exactly that to which hawkeye7 alludes is his conclusion. If the official history series talks about war without logistics, the thesis talks about logistics without mentioning the war. Up to page 112, I think the Japanese are mentioned twice; the military operations of the Allies not at all. Yet logistics are solely in support of actual or intended military operations: without reference to those operations they don't make any real sense.
So what I think hawkeye7 needs to do is embed his study within the context of Allied operations. This doesn't mean a blow-by-blow account - that's been done - but it does require that at each step of the way he explains what the military objectives and activities are that make these logistical demands. It's an old word: CONTEXT... it's not a degree in logistics, it's a degree in history. What hawkeye7 needs to do is put the history back in.
Jeff said that the thesis was "somewhat unfinished". I could afford to sacrifice some detail - a lot of detail actually - especially personal details (ie stating the names of obscure personnel). He said that there was enough detail. More that enough. No more research required.
He called for a more overt framework, with the reasons behind the chapter content spelled out.
He felt that the first chapter on Strategy and Logistics wasn't and that the second on doctrine wasn't either.
He liked the conclusion a lot but wanted the bit about General Beavis moved to the introduction, so it would state clearly the case for writing the thesis.
The Preface is actually an introduction. Books have prefaces; theses have introductions. The introduction should explain the layout of the thesis
Each chapter should start with a couple of short paragraphs stating what the chapter is about, making it explicit why this is important and why the reader (or anyone else) should care.
He wanted all the typographical errors removed. Original research and contribution to knowledge and all that jazz but examiners like to see nice presentation.
Meeting again in February.